day 9: a date with mr universe of bagan

U Thaung Lewin, directly translated Mr Universe (man on the left), is a 64-year-old passionate retired English teacher and free-lance tourist guide.

Termed as the 'Master of all Guides', our hotel host told us that many younger guides would go to Mr Universe if they had questions on history, culture or the English language. He was also mentioned in one of the Lonely Planet guidebooks.

We were lucky to get Mr Universe to give us an overview of Bagan and it's history.

Spending close to an hour at our first stop, Shwezigon Paya, Mr Universe gave a comprehensive lesson on how the 42nd King Anawrahta unified the country in 1044 and built this first grand temple. He ushered in the golden age and also made Buddhism the national religion.

Mr Universe is a serious Buddhist who dedicates his entire being into learning the teachings of the fourth Buddha, living it out and spreading it. Naturally, much of what he shared was on Buddhism.

His warmth and sincerity was overflowing. Not only did he invite us to the annual celebration where people paid respect to the retired teachers, he also invited us to his home for dinner.

Zedis, or centres of worship, and other attractions we saw today included:

• Shwezigon Paya - the prototype of many pegodas to come
• Buddhist-regulated Orphanage - headed by one of the descendants of the Kings who has the original and rare crystals from the Buddha's blood
• Htilominlo Phato - a 46 metre tall red bricked Zedi
• Amanda Phato - the best-preserved temple with the two face of Buddha
• Shwesandaw Paya - where we watched the sun set at the peak of pyramid-style pagoda

Thoroughly enjoyable - to spend the day exploring Bagan on the back of a horse cart with a knowledgeable and passionate local guide.

Cost (US$1 = 750 kyat):

• 15,000 kyat - horse cart for a day
• US$25 - One day tour by Tourist Guide Mr Universe
• 11,300 kyat - lunch for Mr Universe, Bun and I at Golden Myanmar in Old Bagan
• 6500 kyat - dinner for two at Fuji which serves pretty authentic Japanese cuisine

day 8: cruising down Ayeyarwady

After spending US$32 on a rocky and dirty night train, we were not entirely confident when we handed over US$40 each for the Shwe Keinnery Express Ferry.

The nine-hour ferry departs daily at either 7am or 8am. We bought tickets for the later boat through our hotel.

It turned out that the ferry only serves foreigners, so seats are comfortable, decks are spacious, restaurant on board provides good (though a little pricey) service, and restrooms are decent. The one which we were on today had less than half its capacity of 120 seats.

The width of the river was narrow, so we spent most of our time on the upper deck, just watching the coast. People washing clothes, cows grazing, cluster of stupas standing tall and more.

The journey ended with a gorgeous sun set as we pulled into Bagan.

And Inn Wa's hospitable host was at the jetty, smiling with a sign that reads 'Kelly +1'.

I have a feeling I'm going to love this place.

Cost (US$1 = 750 kyat):

• 5,000 kyat - taxi from Central Mandalay to jetty
• US$40 - Shwe Keinnery Express Ferry ticket
• 3,000 kyat - bowl of bee hoon soup and tea for breakfast on board
• 8,000 kyat - fried rice and noodles for lunch
• 8,400 kyat - dinner with puppet show for two

day 7.5: underground performance

We finally spotted the sign 'The Moustache Brothers' and a man who couldn't speak English led us to the backstreet behind a BBQ restaurant.

"The show starts at 8.30pm," says another man. "Come early about 8.10pm if you want a good seat or you can reserve by buying tickets now." I wanted to watch it for sure, so Bun paid him 16,000 kyat for two of us and we got a name card with some scribbling on the reverse as a ticket in return.

The man who sold us the tickets turned out to be Lu Maw, the only English-speaking member of the Moustache Brothers. He was the lead for the entirely entertaining and hilarious 1.5 hours live comedy.

Our favourite parts were the anti-government jokes. This was also why the other two members Par Par Lay and Lu Saw were arrested and jailed.

When Lu Maw is not making fun of the corrupted and greedy Burmese government, traditional folk dances were performed by the sister and wives of the trio.

Lu Maw is extremely proud of his 42-year-old wife who was the 'Cover Girl' of an early edition of Lonely Planet.

Now in their early 60s, I wonder how long they would continue this show. In the meantime, the police leaves them alone as long as they continue to attract tourist dollars. Tonight was full-house with about 20 audience.

This is definitely worth your 8,000 kyat if you are in Mandalay. Shows go on every night at 8.30pm, be there early otherwise you might need to stand or squeeze in the back row. Bring mosquito repellent too.

day 7: 2000-year-old golden buddha

Cast as early as the first century AD, this Buddha image is a must-see if you are in Mandalay, recommends Lonely Planet.

The Mahamuni Paya, which the houses the statue is bustling with activities. Many women worshippers kneel praying and offering fruit and water. The men are permitted in the inner centre alter, where they could touch the statue and paste gold leaves on it.

Surrounding Mahamuni are bronze Khmer statues which I didn't find as interesting as a two-storey 'temple' housing a 3-D Asia map. There is a small alley behind with vendors selling a few different species of birds, including what looked like baby owls!

Cost (US$1 = 750 kyat):

• 4,000 kyat - pick up from bus station to central Mandalay
• 1,100 kyat - dough fritters and egg prata breakfast
• 1,500-2,500 kyat - rickshaw rides
• 5,600 kyat - late lunch Chinese food at Mann Restaurant
• 2,000 kyat - mini pizza and curry puff at City Mart Seasons Cafe
• 8,000 kyat - live comedy by the Moustache Brothers (star buy)
• US$20 - stay at Sabai Phyu Hotel, good location with tea shops and food all around but no hot shower. Rooms are a little dusty, probably due to the construction of new rooms beside ours

day 6: luxury coach to mandalay

After the six-hour local minibus ride, it cannot get any worse (I hope). And anything can be counted as luxury.

It's not Grassland, we didn't get massage chairs and each seat couldn't fit one-and-a-half me, but it has everything that you need.

Booked through Joy Hotel, 22,000 kyat got us two seats on the night bus from Inle Lake to Mandalay.

Seats are assigned, so book early to get front ones which are cushioned from the bumpy road. We booked two days ahead and got Seats 25 and 26, fourth row from the back.

The ticket indicated 6pm but we were early just to be safe. The wait at the cafe was comfortable and served the best chicken with dried chilli. Good sized chunks of chicken and cauliflower, green peppers and tomato.

The bus only got to Shwenyang Junction about 7pm.

Each passenger is given a bottle of mineral water, a small pillow and impressively a night pack with toothbrush, mini toothpaste and a wet wipe!

The 12-hour ride was smooth and I managed to sleep most of it, except for the two 20-minute stops for food and toilet.

And as Lonely Planet also warns, it is really a good idea to bring a good blanket. It was freezing and raining outside, yet at some stage the driver switched on the air condition as if we were in Singapore.

Cost (US$1 = 750 kyat):

• 9,000 kyat - lunch for two at Smiling Moon. I had meatball pasta which tasted very much like sweet and sour pork
• 6,000 kyat - pick up to Shwenyang junction
• 4,000 kyat - coffee and dinner at cafe while waiting for bus
• 11,000 kyat - a seat on the Inle-Mandalay coach

day 5: the jumping cat of inle

I believe it used to be a worthy crowd puller. Today, a lady performs it instead of a monk. And the cat might have grown too fat to jump that high.

Nonetheless, it's still my favorite stop amongst the seven to eight on the one-day Inle tour.

Cost (US$1 = 750 kyat):

• 12,000 kyat - one day tour of Inle Lake for two
• 8,000 kyat - lunch for two with pagoda view
• 5,000 kyat - scarf weaved by the women with long necks
• 2,900 kyat - dinner for two at roadside BBQ stall (cheapest meal so far)
• 12,000 kyat - Joy Hotel, nice balcony overlooking the busy canal while you have breakfast. Real hot water - which is essential at that temperature - comes and goes.

day 4: bouncy train

I don't normally fancy writing a chronological record of what happened. But nothing else will give this adventurous journey to Inle fair credit.

4.00pm
Arrived at Yangon Train Station to be enthusiastically greeted by two porters who later extorted 6,000 kyat (approx US$8) for carrying our 12 kg luggage.

5.00pm
Train departed punctually. That was the only good thing, besides the nice Dutch couple we met who were going to conquer Myanmar by bike. The rest of it is, let's just say adventurous.

We were ushered into a pretty clean and new coach before they realised that we belonged to the other 'Upper Class Sleeper', in worse condition with a couple of resident cockroaches. Given that we have paid the most expensive ticket, we couldn't figured out who would be in the newer cabins.

We then got bounced around the entire night like popcorn. Battling not falling off my upper bed, and the blinding light which we couldn't switch off, I managed to sneak in a few hours of light sleep.

6am the next morning
We got to Thazi Train Station punctually as expected only to realise the scenic train ride to Shwenyaung has left an hour ago. The timings has changed since research and now there is only one train per day. Thazi didn't seem like somewhere we wanted to spend a day at, so we decided to try the bus station which turned out to be a coffee shop and was 1000 kyat horse carriage ride away. (The trains from Yangon to Thazi now leave at 8am, 3pm and 5pm.)

7.30am
Bun brilliantly got us two seats on a local bus (from the driver who doesn't speak English) and bargained the ticket down from 20,000 kyat to 16,000 kyat. Bun also befriended a Chinese guy from Yunan working in Yangon who provided valuable info on where we should alight.

For five and a half hours, we drove through many villages and at each stop, more passengers hopped on filling gaps on the bus you would never think can fit a person. At one time, a man squeezed between Bun and the lady beside, when there were clearly only two seats.

While we were not worrying when the driver is going to put someone on our laps, we tried to enjoy the ride through the mountains.

1.00pm
We finally arrived at the junction just outside of Nyaungshwe. Bun and I were almost grey, from the layers of dust we have put on. But not grey (and local-looking) enough to escape the Inle Lake authorities who demanded US$3 fee for foreigners. From the number of people who thought I was Burmese, I think it was Bun who gave the game away.

1.40pm
After a 20-minute chilly pick-up ride, we arrived at Joy Hotel, strategically situated along the start of a busy canal. Finally.











Cost (US$1 = 750 kyat):

• US$32 - night train from Yangon to Thazi
• 6,000 kyat - porters' fee (cheaters!)
• 1,000 kyat - horse carriage ride
• 600 kyat - coffee and you tiao breakfast
• 8,000 kyat - local bus from Thazi to Nyaungshwe junction
• 1,500 kyat - pick up to Joy hotel in Nyaungshwe
• 5,600 kyat - late lunch at Shan Land Restaurant